Tonite, I am lying on my bed, with the lights turn off
Crying...
it caught me off guard, this feeling
the feeling of loneliness, vulnerable and uselessness.
I don't know where this feeling comes from, for it hid itself very well, deep within me
Today was supposed to be my happy day, it was my graduation day
yet why do I feel like this? like I am such a failure, like I have done nothing in my twenty six years, five months and ten days living on this earth.
To make it worst, I have no idea where I will going from this moment on.
What my purposes of living are? What I am looking for in life? Am I a dissapointment to the people that really care for me, my mum and dad? and so on...
These questions keep coming and It scares me.. A LOT
I'm so scared til I don't know what to do beside cry
These tears keeps falling down, I can't hold it.
Huff...
Finally, after a while,
I can get a grip, and start wiping the tears off of my eyes.
Somehow I feels lighter, like the huge load that was on my chest is decreased if not gone
It's been a long time since I haven't been crying like this. I remembered the last time me crying spilling my emotion was on an ESQ training.
Some said that it's A NO NO for boys to cry
but I don't care, I enjoy crying. It's one of the amazing gift from God to us human, yeah those tears. It's incredible how those tears could bring so much relieve to the soul
I'm going to sleep now and tomorrow I'll worry about those questions hanging on my minds. I'll find the answers. There's always a way. I need only to stick to my faith that My God has the best plans laid out for me
Just when I get ready to go asleep. My mum and Dad called me to go downstairs for dinner
Lazily wake up from my bed, I hesitantly went downstairs.
And Voila, apparently they have arranged a surprise 'Upah-upah' for me
Upah-upah is a Batak tradition of feasting on special occasion. Rice, boiled eggs, Ikan mas, Chicken and prawn were put together on a big plate. The plate then placed on the head of the person while everyone said a good prayer and wishes for the person.
I'm so flattered, I can't say anything, just felt so loved and blessed and thankful that I'll always have my family, being there for me. Another tear's slipping away. hu hu hu
Julian, termehek-mehek alone
Crying...
it caught me off guard, this feeling
the feeling of loneliness, vulnerable and uselessness.
I don't know where this feeling comes from, for it hid itself very well, deep within me
Today was supposed to be my happy day, it was my graduation day
yet why do I feel like this? like I am such a failure, like I have done nothing in my twenty six years, five months and ten days living on this earth.
To make it worst, I have no idea where I will going from this moment on.
What my purposes of living are? What I am looking for in life? Am I a dissapointment to the people that really care for me, my mum and dad? and so on...
These questions keep coming and It scares me.. A LOT
I'm so scared til I don't know what to do beside cry
These tears keeps falling down, I can't hold it.
Huff...
Finally, after a while,
I can get a grip, and start wiping the tears off of my eyes.
Somehow I feels lighter, like the huge load that was on my chest is decreased if not gone
It's been a long time since I haven't been crying like this. I remembered the last time me crying spilling my emotion was on an ESQ training.
Some said that it's A NO NO for boys to cry
but I don't care, I enjoy crying. It's one of the amazing gift from God to us human, yeah those tears. It's incredible how those tears could bring so much relieve to the soul
I'm going to sleep now and tomorrow I'll worry about those questions hanging on my minds. I'll find the answers. There's always a way. I need only to stick to my faith that My God has the best plans laid out for me
Just when I get ready to go asleep. My mum and Dad called me to go downstairs for dinner
Lazily wake up from my bed, I hesitantly went downstairs.
And Voila, apparently they have arranged a surprise 'Upah-upah' for me
Upah-upah is a Batak tradition of feasting on special occasion. Rice, boiled eggs, Ikan mas, Chicken and prawn were put together on a big plate. The plate then placed on the head of the person while everyone said a good prayer and wishes for the person.
I'm so flattered, I can't say anything, just felt so loved and blessed and thankful that I'll always have my family, being there for me. Another tear's slipping away. hu hu hu
Julian, termehek-mehek alone
3 komentar:
Nothing but hugs for my twin brader.
Yeap, that's family all rite. the only thing the give is everything.
Selamat ya, Bro udah lulus.
Rencana yang diatas itu Indah pada Waktunya...
Mungkin ini cara yang diatas supaya next lo dapat kerjaan, u'll do anything u can (even sleep with your boss) to keep it
CELEBRATE and congratz to my fellow Gengges
setuju,, i enjoy myself crying,, asal ga sering2 aja...
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